My Uncle Colby passed on Tuesday. I've known him all my life. We spent almost if not every Thanksgiving and Christmas with our families growing up at Nanny & PePa's, whether it was at the house in Baytown or on Lake Livingston. But I did not know Colby very well. He was a quiet man, not boisterous like my dad, Uncle Mark, and even sometimes Nanny. But if he had something to say, he would say it. What I do know is that he loved his family very much. When I heard of his passing, I could not help but remember my dad's death, also at such a young age. Dad was 50; Colby was 53. So young. I feel great empathy for Terri, Brent & Amie, and little Gracie. I cannot imagine how PePa feels, to have lost his son.
I woke up on Wednesday from a dream, grabbed some paper immediately, and words just flowed from my mind, my heart, and my pen. It wasn't a dream with people or events but rather an intense peaceful feeling, as if I were in the arms of my Father where I felt warm and loved. I did not know until the day of the funeral, that Colby had recently come to love the Lord deeply and accept Christ as his Savior. I was so sure after I wrote the poem that it was God speaking through me to comfort broken hearts. I am certain of it now. As I wrote, I knew the words were spoken from my own dad's heart and spirit, but I felt as if it had to be something Colby's heart would say also. It's gushy, definitely not something either of them would say, but I believe some of the most macho of men have the softest, most loving hearts and feel much more than they express aloud. The dream brought me peace and comfort from the sadness I was feeling for Colby's family and remembering the loss of my own daddy, and the words just poured from my heart, so they must have been given to me by the Spirit. I hope they brought comfort to everyone who Colby loved and who loved him. I felt great joy hearing the story of Colby's last days with his family and with God. Colby, his family, and all who were fortunate to know him, we are very blessed.
Legacy of Love
How do I know I have lived a full life?
One I could be proud to have shared with my family, my wife?
Life should not be measured in terms of its length,
But rather let's measure the love and its strength.
Love is an awesome, powerful entity.
It transcends life and death, goes on for infinity.
Our beautiful family shares memories and love.
That is my legacy, and what I'm most proud of.
If I had to revisit my life in a mirror
Looking at myself from farther to nearer,
I would see that the good stuff outweighs the bad
And that our many happy times overshadow the sad.
I wish I said, "I love you," more than I had, too.
But I tried always to show it, and I hope that you knew.
I loved you more than my life, more than can ever be measured.
I am right there in your heart, a deeply buried treasure.
Although I am gone, and my body will disappear.
My love will never die; I will always be near.
Love always,
Carrie
I have to end this with a lighthearted story because that is how I remember Colby, lighthearted, always with a grin, ready to laugh. Mom told me this story a long time ago, and it has stuck with me. Nanny liked to tell it, too. I have written before about how I thought my dad was Superman. I wonder if Brent or Amie ever thought their dad was Superman? Well, Colby thought he was Superman! When he was very young, he was so sure that he could fly like Superman, he climbed to the roof of his house, and my mom and Uncle Mark watched in disbelief, unable to stop him. Colby spread his arms like wings and dove off the house. I bet he felt free like a bird, as if he could really fly, for at least a moment before realizing he was plunging towards the ground. He broke his leg, but his spirit was never broken. After his last breath, I imagine Colby spread his arms again. Only this time, he did fly.
