Daddy Daughter Dance - Savanna & Dan

Every year since they opened, the Clay Madsen Rec Center has hosted a Daddy Daughter Dance around Valentine's Day. Dads bring their sweethearts from age 0 and up to an old fashioned gymnasium style dance and play music kids like. Dan took Savanna last year, but she was scared most of the time. Dan ended up holding her the entire time. This year, however, she LOVED it!

Dan told me the first song when they got there was "Dancing Queen." I heard him say in the video that it was my "favorite song." This is a joke, of course, because a few years ago it was one of those songs that, when I would hear it, would make my blood boil. I originally liked the song somewhat, didn't hate it, but when I worked at Hastings, for a few months, there was a preview on the TVs in the video department that played the song, and I kid you not, it played several times an hour. I worked there several years, and there were other previews and songs that played that I was able to completely tune out, but for some reason, I don't know, maybe it was the tone of their high pitched voices, but it caught my attention every time I heard it. I wanted to pierce my eardrums with an ice pick! I am afraid if those TVs were within my reach instead of mounted on the ceiling, I might have done something totally out of character and kicked in the screen. It's a good thing they were mounted on the ceiling...

When Savanna got home from the dance, she told me right away that she wanted to go dancing again. I thought she meant next year or in the near future, but she meant that night - right then! She also said she wanted to "go dancing with Mama." Awwww. Someday she'll get why they only have a Daddy Daughter dance. There are so few opportunities for a man and his little girl to have some special tome together. I think it would be nice if they had one of those every month or every few months instead of once a year. Daddies should take their daughters out at least once a month if they can, or whenever they get a chance - even if it's to the hardware store (my dad), or to Fry's (Dan) to check out what's new. Men give us a hard time about lolly gagging around the grocery store or the department store, but they like to browse the store that holds stuff they're interested in - it's true!

Here's a little IMO sidebar ---

IMO... Daddies are the biggest influence on their daughters choice of men.

Savanna & I get lots of girl time, but I think Daddy/Daughter time is the most important time in a girl's life.

Why?

It teaches her what it feels like to be treated with love and respect by a man. They say a girl looks for a man like her father as a life partner, and they do - they really do. All of us, we only know what we see first hand, what we experience. TV only warps us because 99.9% of it, even the "reality" shows, is unrealistic. Please don't let your children learn about relationships from TV.

So Daddies need to be the man that they would want their daughter to marry. Treat her with respect, never demean her or call her names (unless you want her to bring a guy like that home), and show her every day how special she is, just like she is, so that she will expect no less from the man she chooses. Yep, Dads, it's all you, fellas; you gotta step up to the plate!

But the Mamas are not off the hook! Sometimes you have to teach your man how to treat your daughter. I have three sisters, so I had no clue what to do with these boys I've been blessed with. Dan lets me know when I've messed up because I don't get the male psyche. And Mamas, you have to call him out when he says or does something that you know would have hurt you if your daddy did it. I bet even men who had sisters are clueless when it comes to female emotions and self esteems. So we have to teach them. It's perfect that parenting is meant to be a team effort. We are in a position of great power; these children are captive audiences because they know not to interrupt, even if they feel they are being mistreated, and we don't always know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of our actions. Just tell him privately what he did wrong and a better way to handle that situation, so he can go fix it right away.

We make all sorts of mistakes as parents, and the people we love the most end up feeling hurt. Even a tiny hurt still hurts. Those are the best - you just kiss it, and it feels better. A simple, "I'm sorry." is like a kiss on the boo boo to a little girl who is feeling hurt, but add in there an "I shouldn't have done that because I love you, and you are special to me," and you will have given her the band-aid that she really wanted. You will have just taught her not to accept behavior like that from anyone, not even from someone you love. You will have also shown her how simple and easy it is to apologize and forgive. This is one of the toughest things as a parent and in a marriage. I know it is for me. There were not many apologies in my house growing up, if any; I cannot think of one. Well, there was this one time, but he did not say it out loud. I just knew from his expression and comportment that he was sorry. It was enough for me; it meant the world to me, and I accepted it. In that one little moment, years of pain and heartache were erased. But I know I would have liked to hear him say it. And although it helped me to move forward, I still have a hard time giving or accepting apologies from my loved ones, the adults. I really want to. I am thinking it, but I do not and don't even know why. Life would be so much easier if I would just say it. It is hard to fix, but I am trying. Save your daughter that heartache. It is much easier to apologize to children. They have no baggage unless you give it to them; they are open and accepting and forgive you your faults even when you don't say you're sorry -- for a while. The time will come, as it did for me, when you will put up a wall to protect your heart. Daddies need to be there forever next to their daughters hearts, instead of walls.

I hope they have Daddy/Daughter dances in every town and that we keep having them here. Otherwise, dim the lights, get out the strobe lights & disco ball, and put the telly on one of those fifty some odd music channels. You will have a lot more fun than if you were watch even your favorite TV program as a family. Maybe that's what we'll do since they only have the dance once a year. The whole family can dance together, and Savanna can get her wish and dance with Mama, too!

Here's some more cute photos of them together. I tried to fix Savanna's hair, snip it a little to even it out, but I don't know how to fix it (after the Great Haircut Fiasco - see below for details).



Savanna loves to go "round round." I bought this as her special Christmas dress; I try to find ones that look like they will spin well. What little girl does not like a dress that twirls?