The Library

I love the library, always have. Here is where my love for the library came from:

Time Warp ~ ~ ~ ~ @@@ ~ ~ ~ ~ to my 3rd grade homeroom period:

Mrs. Brenda Ross was my math/homeroom teacher, and every day after lunch and recess, she would read aloud to us, her in her chair, and us lined up on the steps to the library as if they were bleachers. Our school was testing out "open concept classrooms." There were no walls around any of the classrooms except for the kindergarten, music, art, and gym. The round shaped library was the centerpiece of the school. It dropped down several steps so that it was like a "soup bowl." All the grade levels surrounded the library, and you walked the hallway around the soup bowl to get to your area. The back of the classroom had large portable closets where coats and school supplies were kept in, and this was the "wall" separating the classroom from the hallway of the library. So all you had to do was peek around the closet and you could look right into the library. The other "walls" were made up of chalk boards and bulletin boards which you could also see underneath when you were seated on the floor. And there was a row of bookshelves at the back where textbooks and other books were kept that acted as the 4th wall, except it was a short shelf and you could see right into the classrooms across and around you. It was not as loud as you might think, and for someone who multi-tasks pretty well and likes to see other stuff going on because the class was boring, it worked great for me. But since I was often not paying attention to what I was supposed to be paying attention to, I had my name on the chalkboard with checks next to it (for multiple offenses). Three checks and you're out. I knew the principal pretty well!


So once we were settled in our "bleachers," Mrs Ross would pull out the book, a Bluebonnet contender for that year. It was my favorite book that she read to us, called A Dog Called Kitty, but I also loved the Soup books, very funny =-) I was so inspired by Mrs. Ross and her belief in me even though I was mostly a cut-up and by her gentle way of getting into the hearts and minds of her student, that I decided that semester that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. And that dream is finally coming true for me. She was only my teacher for one semester because she was blessed with a baby girl, Allison, and she took the rest of the year off to be a mother. I was heartbroken even though I probably would have done the same thing. Poor me... Not really, it was poor Miss Fink. First, because her name was Miss Fink, and secondly because she had a tough act to follow. Being only 8 years old, I blamed her for taking over Mrs. Ross's class, so needless to say, I was a naughty little girl. But I wrote letters to Mrs. Ross all the way through college and invited her to my wedding (which she was going to come or, but something came up last minute, so I haven't seen her in a long time.) That type of relationship does not happen often, but it is very special when it does. And as their mother teacher, I will get to have all sorts of wonderful moments with my children. Even had I not initiated correspondence with Mrs. Ross, the memories of her had made their impact on who I was, how I felt about reading and books, and the type of teacher (and person) that I wanted to be. It's over 25 years later, and I still think of her fondly and know that she influenced much of my character and also influenced the (good) choices I have made which brought me to where I am today: a home schooling Mom. I can do it! I really can do it. With God's help and guidance, I can help mold these beautiful souls into giving, loving, intelligent, and hard working individuals who will have a thirst for life and all that it has to offer them and those whom they touch. As much as I will be feeding their minds and souls, they will be feeding mine as well, the cure-all for all that ails me. This reminds me of the perfect song written by Gary Chapman, sung by Amy Grant. I listened to it over and over in high school when I would feel down and somewhat worthless. And many times along this journey towards home schooling I have felt like maybe I can't do it, and also keep a clean house, and feed and clothe 6 people on a budget, and continue to be the leader for Dallas's Webelo den. I know I'm not a super mom and probably never will be. I am in awe of the super moms that I know; they are very special people. But sometimes when I compare myself to others, which I shouldn't, I forget that I am special in my own right, with my own talents and abilities, and best of all, God loves me exactly as I am, good and bad, strengths and weaknesses, & virtues and faults. I'll end here with the song, the words are a perfect ending. It's a tear-jerker (if you are like me)...

Here's a clip.

" All I Ever Have To Be "
Amy Grant/Gary Chapman
album: Amy Grant: The Collection

When the weight of all my dreams

Is resting heavy on my head,

And the thoughtful words of help and hope

Have all been nicely said.

But I'm still hurting,

Wondering if I'll ever be

the one I think I am .

I think I am.

Then you gently re-remind me

That You've made me from the first,

And the more I try to be the best

The more I get the worst.

And I realize the good in me,

is only there because of who You are

Who You are...

And all I ever have to be

Is what You've made me.

Any more or less would be a step

out of Your plan.

As you daily recreate me,

help me always keep in mind

That I only have to do

What I can find.

And all I ever have to be

All I have to be

All I ever have to be

Is what You've made me.